Couples Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ

Go from fighting non-stop to loving each other again.

Here’s the thing…

Relationships are hard work. We all know that. The majority of our entertainment (love songs, movies, jokes) is based on that exact reality. The issues in a relationship get amplified when people have different ways of thinking, communicating, and perceiving the world around them. I see this EVERY DAY in my work with couples struggling with neurodivergence or addiction. It can feel like you’re speaking completely different languages. It’s like you’re talking about apples, and your partner’s talking about robot elephants wearing polka-dot hats. 🙄

Feeling Disconnected and Frustrated

The unfulfilled promises, emotional blow-ups, misreads, and missed cues can leave you both feeling isolated in the very relationship where you want to feel most at home. This often leads to you both feeling disconnected from each other, tons of arguments that do nothing but make you feel like crap, and a substantial slump in your sex life. Maybe you’ve had the same argument for the 500th time, or you’ve hit a point where one of you is shutting down while the other’s exploding—or both. You’re exhausted, frustrated, and wondering if this is just how it’s always going to be. Spoiler: it doesn’t have to be.

A lot of people start thinking, “Maybe we just shouldn’t be together…”

So you try reading some books, listening to podcasts, and maybe even couples therapy. But, nothing seems to do the trick. The books and podcasts give you some ideas that fail, and the couples therapist doesn’t get you at all, using flowery language that doesn’t make any sense. You just want practical strategies that work for real people!

The good news? You can get out of this cycle. This isn’t about finger-pointing or fixing one person; it’s about learning how to work together in a way that actually works for you. That’s where I come in. Let’s break it all down and build something better—together.

Image of an upset woman sitting on a couch being comforted by a man. If you and your partner are struggling with conflict, discover how couples therapy in Scottsdale, AZ can help you and your partner cope.

What is Couples Therapy?

In couples therapy, the couple as a unit is considered the client. That means that there’s no taking sides or “blaming” one partner for the issues in the relationship. The focus is on the dynamics of the relationship as a whole and fostering a deeper understanding and emotional connection between the partners. 

The process starts with an in-depth assessment. Every individual is unique, and every couple is too. Just like a doctor looks at x-rays before setting a broken bone, we assess the history of your relationship, communication patterns, and the needs of both partners to really get a good look at what’s going on both on and underneath the surface. I meet with you together as a couple and then separately as individuals to see the relationship from all angles.

Setting Goals and Creating a Treatment Plan

Then, we talk about goals and a plan for treatment. I give you my impressions and recommendations, and we start addressing the issues most important to you. In other words, it’s not just my agenda; we create a roadmap for treatment together as a team. You two are the experts on your relationship, and I’m here to guide you through the process of fixing the problems and coming together.

Tackling Repetitive Conflict

For example, let’s say one of your biggest challenges as a couple is repetitive conflict. That is a conflict that makes you feel like you’re on a hamster wheel and repeating the same phrases over and over until you’re ready to give up and crash on the couch with your favorite streaming app. The key to finding the right intervention to prevent these conflicts from escalating is understanding where, when, and how things go sideways in the conversation. So we slow things down and really dissect the patterns. Then, we fix the issue using the right tool. Just like we wouldn’t use a hammer to fix a hole in the wall because that would just make the hole bigger, I diagnose the problem and give you the exact solution to make it better. We then practice using the strategy in session to get more comfortable with it, since learning any new skill can feel a little wonky at first.

Applying Strategies at Home

Then, you go home and use the strategy without me there. It may go well or it may not. Either way, that’s fine, because it gives us great information about what the next steps should be. So if the strategy worked well, we talked about how it went and moved on to something else while still remembering to utilize the strategy as needed. If it didn’t go so well, we talked about why and made some adjustments in order for the strategy to work better for you. And, just like learning how to ride a bike or play a musical instrument, the more you practice the skills, the easier they get.

Strengthening the Emotional Bond

We also work on strengthening your emotional bond and connection, building (or re-building) a solid foundation for the relationship after a rupture in trust, getting on the same page about household responsibilities, and improving intimacy and fun. What’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t have any fun together? This is a big need for a lot of couples when they come to therapy because it’s natural for the spark to fizzle out when you’ve been together for such a long time. We all get caught up in daily routines, paying bills, doing the laundry, etc.

A lot of couples find they fall into a rut of doing the same thing day after day, and they end up feeling more like roommates than romantic partners. You may even find yourself planning date nights and feeling bored because you have nothing to talk about because you know everything about each other already. But, the truth is that you don’t know everything about each other because people change and evolve over time. Couples therapy can help you discover new things about each other and add some excitement back into your interactions. No more dinners spent in awkward silence or talking about paying the bills! You can find that spark again!

Who Benefits From Couples Therapy

Couples therapy works well for couples who are committed to each other and want to make the relationship work, or at least want to want it to work. Using the evidenced-based methodologies of Gottman Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), you can work together as a team to heal the hurts and connect again. Once the relationship stabilizes into a better place, we usually taper down to less frequent sessions to give you more time in between sessions and see how things go. It’s kind of like taking the training wheels off the bike; we won’t know how you do on your own until we remove the frequent support. And when you feel like you’re ready, we talk about ending couples therapy. There’s no such thing as an exact number of prescribed sessions because you are not the same as other couples. You’re you.

Image of a couple sitting on a couch speaking to a couples therapist. Begin healing and reconnecting with your partner with the support of a skilled couples therapist in Scottsdale, AZ.

Couples Therapy FAQ’s

How I Can Help As a Couples Therapist

When you’re struggling with constant arguments, not understanding each other, and have gotten to the point where you don’t even have fun together anymore, the idea of being able to fix things can feel like an impossible task. This can be especially challenging when one or both partners are struggling with neurodivergence, trauma, or addiction because those brains have very different needs. Sensory differences, processing styles, and emotional regulation struggles can turn everyday interactions into battlegrounds. My guess is you’re sick of feeling like you carry the whole load of responsibility or avoid answering the phone knowing it may be that call that you’ve been dreading. Maybe you feel like you’re just roommates and have given up on trying to figure out the “right” thing to say to your partner. All of this makes a lot of people ironically feel completely alone, even though they’re in a committed relationship.

This is where I come in. Using research-based strategies that have been proven to be effective for couples, we get to the root of the issue and find solutions. I help my clients get on the same page, truly understand each other’s needs and desires, and start speaking the same language, so they talk to each other and not at each other. I don’t take sides, because it’s not about my needs, it’s about yours

The Fuzzy Socks Therapy Approach to Couples Therapy

The foundation of my couples therapy approach includes Gottamn Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT). Gottman Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) are both evidence-based therapeutic interventions specifically designed for couples. Because the needs of neurodiverse couples or couples impacted by addiction and/or trauma are so unique, I tweak the interventions as needed to fit the needs of my clients. It’s kind of like using a cookie cutter for the dough and decorating with my own concoction of sprinkles and icing: a solid base with a blend of toppings designed specifically for each individual couple. It’s like when a doctor prescribes medication but they adjust the dosage for your body. Just like a child needs a different amount of medicine than an NFL linebacker, you may need some different tweaks to the formula than another couple.

What Sets Me Apart

Here’s what’s different about me: 

I don’t do bullshit. 

So many couples come to me after working with another couples therapist who they felt didn’t help them because they just came in week after week talking about feelings. While we will talk about your feelings, it’s not all we do. I teach actual, concrete skills and a formula for communication that works so you can start seeing results right away. And I don’t use fluffy language, like “let’s make space for that,” without translating it into something you can grasp onto. Because, at the end of the day, you need solutions for your relationship, not an esoteric, theoretical discussion.

I have master’s degrees in education and clinical social work and have worked as a therapist and teacher- so I know the skills I’m teaching, how to teach them well, and how to adapt everything to meet the individual needs of my clients.

I’m not your average therapist. I don’t just sit there and nod along, telling you to share your feelings with each other and leave it at that. Many clients feel like they’re just talking to a good friend when they come to see me. It’s probably the New Yorker in me 😁

I can’t promise you that the work will be easy (nothing in life worth having is that simple), but I can promise you this: it is ABSOLUTELY WORTH IT!

Image of a smiling lesbian couple hugging. Overcome the communication issues you face with your partner with the support of couples therapy in Scottsdale, AZ.

Begin Reconnecting With Your Partner With Couples Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ

You don’t have to continue to live with constant fighting, miscommunication, and only vague memories of being in love anymore. Couples therapy can help you and your partner get on the same page and fall in love again! At my Scottsdale, AZ therapy office, I specialize in working with couples impacted by neurodivergence, trauma, or addiction. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps:

  1. Contact us or click here to book your free consultation.

  2. Meet with Lianna, EFT & Gottman couples therapist.

  3. Start building a relationship that doesn’t just survive, but thrives.

Other Counseling Services at Fuzzy Socks Therapy:

Couples therapy isn’t the only service we offer in our Scottsdale, AZ office. We know you may be looking for other services that aren’t couples therapy. Other therapy services at Fuzzy Socks Therapy include therapy for children and adolescents, addiction therapy, neurodivergence therapy, discernment counseling for couples who aren’t sure if they want to stay together or split up, social skills groups for kids and teens, and neurodivergent parent coaching. For more on couples therapy check out my Blog!