Neurodivergent Therapy For ADHD & Autism
Practical Skills for Practical Brains
In-Person in Scottsdale, AZ, and Online in AZ, CO, and FL
Do you feel like you just don’t fit in?
Do you feel like you just don’t fit in? People with neurodivergent brains often feel this way because in a lot of ways, it’s true. You don’t “fit” the typical mold of how the average person thinks or sees the world. Things that bother other people are actually your cup of tea and vice versa. What constitutes an awesome time for others sounds terrible to you.
It’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Your brain is just wired a little bit differently. And the difference, in general, is great! The issue comes when those differences cause conflict with loved ones or make it hard for you to get things done.
That’s where neurodivergence counseling comes in. We’re not trying to change your brain wiring; we’re working on understanding your unique brain’s strengths and challenges so that we can improve your life. It’s kind of like pizza toppings. You and your friend may love different toppings, and that’s totally fine! But if you’re planning on sharing a pizza, that’s when we need to think about how to make it work. It’s not about trying to get you to only like your friend’s favorites or never get what you want on the pizza. The key is to find a way to split the pizza so both of you get what you like. Other strategies could include exploring why you don’t like certain toppings or trying to add small bits of your friend’s favorite topping to your slices gradually over time. The point is, there’s nothing wrong with you for liking or not liking certain toppings, so we’re not trying to change that. We’re simply trying to figure out how to make it work.
Neurodivergence is a tricky term because it’s more of a cultural word than a clinical one. So it can be really hard to define. Generally speaking, when we say someone is neurodivergent, we mean that their brain is wired differently than that of the general population. Most of the time, neurodivergence refers to Autism and ADHD.
Symptoms of Neurodivergence
Many neurodivergent people have very mixed feelings about it. We understand that while you don’t want to feel ashamed of who you are and how your brain is wired, you also may be noticing issues in your life related to your neurodivergence.
First and foremost, that dichotomy is completely normal! Some neurodivergent people feel like their neurodivergence is a burden, some feel like it’s a superpower, and others feel a mix of the two. There’s no wrong way to feel about your neurodivergence. And the way you feel about it can change day to day. The important thing to focus on is how it’s impacting your life and if you want to change that.
We know that neurodivergent people may struggle with relationships, noticing difficulties with conflict or communication. Neurodivergent people also sometimes struggle in social situations with social anxiety or maintaining conversation with loved ones and navigating interactions at work or school. We also know that being neurodivergent may make it difficult to stay on top of daily tasks due to difficulties with executive functioning (organization) skills.
Other symptoms of Autism include sensory issues, like being very sensitive to loud sounds or getting anxious in crowded spaces. Autistic people also sometimes struggle with social interactions because small talk can be really boring. If you have ADHD, you may have a hard time motivating yourself to do things, even when you want to do them. Maybe you have a never ending to-do list with a bunch of tasks that have been there for months, or even years. Time management can be really challenging for ADHDer’s, particularly when you hyperfocus on something you’re really interested in and then forget to do that other thing you needed to do.
You may have heard from loved ones that you’re “just too sensitive,” “overreacting,” or need to “just get it done.” And as much as they may believe that they’re helping you, the reality is that these statements don’t help at all. Because if it were so simple to “just get it done” or not “overreact,” you would have done it already.
That’s why, at Fuzzy Socks Therapy, we dive deep into each neurodivergent client’s brain, really understand their strengths and challenges, and design a treatment plan tailored specifically to each client.
Is Neurodivergent Therapy Right for You?
You may be wondering if neurodivergent therapy is right for you, especially if you haven’t been diagnosed with anything (which happens all the time!). Here are some commonly asked questions about neurodivergence therapy.
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Yes it is! The word “neurodivergent” can encompass a lot of different things, and Autism is one of the most common forms of neurodivergence. And a formal diagnosis is not needed to benefit from neurodivergent therapy. So, even if this is all new to you, and you’re at the stage of wondering if maybe you have Autism, that is something that can be explored in therapy sessions so that you can make an informed decision about getting evaluated or not. And whether you have that official label or not, neurodivergence therapy can help you work on any issues that are coming up in your life.
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Yes it does! ADHD is one of the most common forms of neurodivergence. ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. You can have just the inattentive type, just the hyperactive type, or the combined type. Inattentive type symptoms include difficulty with focus, hyperfocus, time management, and executive function (organization) skills, and hyperactive type symptoms include the need to move around often or feel fidgety most of the time.
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Even people with exactly the same diagnosis can have very different strengths and challenges. That being said, the most common struggles neurodivergent people have include difficulty with focus, sensory issues, difficulty with executive functioning (organization) skills, social anxiety, and difficulties with communication in relationships.
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Treatment always starts with a thorough assessment to make sure we understand the client’s individual needs. Then, we can design a treatment plan specifically tailored to the client. We use a combination of different types of therapy based on the way your brain works and your goals. Therapy can involve individual work, family/couples work, or a combination. We use only evidence-based techniques, meaning any therapy we use has been proven through research to be effective.
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Great question! Because neurodivergent people are so diverse, there is no one size fits all approach for neurodiversity therapy. At Fuzzy Socks Therapy, we use only evidence-based interventions that have been shown through extensive research to be effective for clients. Some of our therapy approaches include Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Gottman Couples Therapy, and Synergetic Play Therapy (SPT).
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The idea behind neurodiversity “affirming” therapy is that it isn’t pathologizing, meaning we don’t look at Autism as something that needs to be “fixed” or “cured;” therapy focuses on figuring out how to improve the Autistic person’s life in different ways. Let’s take cilantro, for example. Some people don’t like the taste of cilantro, and this is partly due to a genetic variation for some people that makes cilantro taste like soap. So these people are never going to like cilantro, because who would?
A “pathologizing” approach would be to try to force feed these people cilantro or try to convince them that it doesn’t taste like soap. An “affirming” approach would be to work with them on tolerating small amounts of cilantro when mixed in with other foods (if they choose that route), figuring out how to make food without cilantro, or learning how to have conversations with loved ones about not putting cilantro in dishes they make for the client.
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That’s totally fine! Diagnosing neurodivergence (e.g. Autism/ADHD) is a complex process involving diagnostic testing, observation, interviewing the client, and time getting to know you. Whether you end up getting tested for neurodivergence or not, therapy will focus on you and your individual needs. It’s like when someone is going to the store, asks if you need anything, and you ask them to please get you an apple. Does this person know what the word “apple” means? Sure. Does that mean they’ll get you what you’re thinking of? Maybe, maybe not. You could be thinking of red apples, green apples, Gala apples, Fuji apples, etc. The point here is that it’s not super important to know the diagnosis or the label. The most important thing is to know yourself and your needs.
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Absolutely! EMDR has been shown to be effective for neurotypical and neurodivergent people. We may make some adjustments here and there, but overall, EMDR can be used for most children and adults.
How We Can Help
At Fuzzy Socks Therapy, we specialize in neurodivergence. Lianna has 20 years of experience helping neurodivergent kids, adults, and families improve their lives. We use only evidence-based therapies, meaning all of our methods are backed by research and proven to be effective for clients.
We meet you where you’re at and walk you through the process. You won’t find Lianna sitting in a chair nodding along silently for 50 minutes wondering what exactly is happening. Lianna takes pride in ensuring clients feel welcome and supported in session, so you know she’s holding a safe space for you to process and explore.
In other words, we combine deep emotional repair therapies with concrete skill-building to custom-design a therapeutic experience that works best for you, using all research-backed interventions. No fluff. No nonsense.
Make your life work for you and not the other way around
The Fuzzy Socks Therapy Approach to Neurodivergent Therapy
We only use evidence-based therapies that have been proven through decades of empirical research to work well for clients:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT (not tapping) is based on attachment theory, recognizing that how we are comforted and cared for in early childhood impacts how we react to our distressing emotions as adults, both on our own and in our interactions with others. This therapy uses corrective emotional experiences to help clients heal emotional wounds from any time in life and improve interactions with loved ones. Emotionally Focused Therapy can be used for issues related to neurodivergence, anxiety, depression, childhood trauma, relationship issues, and self-esteem issues. EFT is great for couples, families, and individuals.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is a therapy designed to treat trauma. It works by reprocessing traumatic memories in combination with bilateral stimulation on the body to move traumatic memories to a different part of the brain, making these memories less emotionally and physically distressing. While we may need to make some tweaks here and there, it absolutely can be used successfully with neurodivergent clients. This treatment is for individuals, including children and adults.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
The main idea of DBT is the dialectic that our feelings are real and valid, AND the behaviors we engage in as a result of those feelings may be doing us more harm than good. DBT teaches concrete skills to manage distressing emotions in healthy ways, de-compress when extremely stressed, and set boundaries with others that work well for you. DBT is typically used for individuals but can also be used for couples and families. It’s a fantastic intervention for teens and adults and can often yield pretty fast results when it comes to coping with extreme stress.
Play Therapy
Play therapy is the gold-standard treatment for children. Although some older children/adolescents can also benefit from other types of therapy, children see and experience the world through play. Using toys, games, sand-play, and creative activities like art, children process and explore their experiences through play. The therapist models identifying emotions and using healthy coping skills in session to help the child learn how to do it on their own. What’s awesome is that these strategies can be used with adults too! Play therapy can be used with individuals, couples, and families. It’s ideal for neurodivergent people because it allows for the exploration of experiences and feelings without trying to find the right words. Play therapy can even be done with individuals who are non-verbal.
Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman Couples Therapy is used for couples using skills-based exercises. That means that although it does involve some talk about feelings and interactions, the primary focus is on learning concrete strategies to prevent arguments and improve the relationship. Just like the lessons you had as a kid in school, the therapist teaches a skill, and you and your partner practice utilizing it right then and there. This way, the therapist can make some adjustments or suggestions right away before sending you home to try it out on your own. In the next session with your therapist, you’ll talk about how the strategy worked at home and continue to make adjustments as needed. It’s a great fit for neurodiverse couples because it’s accessible to everyone, especially very literal thinkers.
You Want to Learn More About Neurodivergent Therapy
A lot of people ask if neurodivergent therapy can work if they haven’t been diagnosed, and the answer is yes! Because the focus of neurodivergent therapy is tailoring the treatment to the client(s)’ unique needs and strengths, no diagnosis is needed! Here are some answers to some other common questions about therapy for neurodivergence.
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Neurodivergence doesn’t have a clear clinical definition, so you may get different answers from different people if you ask. Generally speaking, neurodivergence means when someone’s brain is wired a little bit differently than that of the general population. The most common forms of neurodivergence are ADHD and Autism.
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What therapy looks like depends a lot on the client(s). For example, therapy with a 5-year-old kiddo looks a lot different than therapy with an individual adult or a couple! That being said, at Fuzzy Socks Therapy, we only use evidence-based therapies that have been shown to be effective for neurodivergent clients. We utilize a combination of techniques that help you go deep and resolve hurts from the past as well as teaching concrete strategies to help you better manage things in your day to day life.
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There is no one approach to treating someone with Autism because we’re not technically treating or trying to “cure” Autism. We’re looking at how Autism impacts someone’s life and making adjustments so that they can get to where they want to be. For example, if a client with Autism comes in saying their Autism makes them not want to socialize in large groups, the first question we ask is about the impact of that on their life. If that person doesn’t see any negative impact, we don’t need to work on it.
If, however, the client feels like this is negatively affecting their social life, relationships, and/or work, then we definitely can work on improving in this area. How we go about it depends on the client. Generally speaking, we use a combination of techniques to explore underlying feelings about the client and large groups, any relevant factors that may impact their desire to socialize in a large group setting, and strategies for managing any anxious feelings that come up.
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A neurodivergent therapist can be a therapist who works with clients who are neurodivergent, a therapist who is neurodivergent themselves, or both!
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How we work with neurodivergent adults completely depends on the client. Even two people with exactly the same diagnosis can have very different needs and goals, so there isn’t only one way to do therapy with neurodivergent adults.
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Many therapists who work with neurodivergent people are neurodivergent themselves. This certainly isn’t a requirement for therapists to provide quality treatment, but as humans, we all tend to gravitate toward what we know and are familiar with. So, you’ll often find many therapists who work with neurodivergent people will tell you that they are also neurodivergent in some way.
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The primary language for all children is play. Children learn through play, explore the world through play, express themselves through play, and process new information through play. Neurodivergence therapy for most children is based on play and may also incorporate other types of therapy depending on their developmental age and needs. Play is even incorporated into neurodivergence therapy for teens! You’d be surprised how often playing a board game gives teenagers the sense of emotional safety to open up in therapy as opposed to the “I don’t know” answers you get when you ask them a question in simple conversation.
Find Support With Neurodivergent Therapy in Scottsdale, AZ
You don’t have to keep feeling lost, frustrated, and alone. Neurodivergent therapy can help you manage your emotions in healthy ways, stay on top of things that need to get done, and improve your relationships. At Fuzzy Socks Therapy, Lianna Purjes is a deeply compassionate and dedicated neurodivergent therapist who specializes in neurodivergence in our Scottsdale office. To get started, simply follow these 3 steps:
Contact us or click here to book your free consultation with Lianna
Meet with Lianna, Neurodivergence Therapist.
Start making your life work for you instead of the other way around.
Other Counseling Services at Fuzzy Socks Therapy
Neurodivergent therapy isn’t the only service we offer in our Scottsdale, AZ office. We know you may be looking for other services that isn’t related to neurodivergent support. Other therapy services at Fuzzy Socks Therapy include therapy for children and adolescents, addiction therapy, couples therapy, discernment counseling for couples who aren’t sure if they want to stay together or split up, social skills groups for kids and teens, and neurodivergent parent coaching. For more on neurodivergence therapy, check out my Blog!